Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
