Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize