If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
