She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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