I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
