Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You ruined the universe
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize