I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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