Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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