I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
