Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
