When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize