Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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