just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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