he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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