He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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