god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i believe in u and ur pee
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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