I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
