it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
