so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
