perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
