I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
