You're completely useless in the revolution.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
