respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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