He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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