Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
