I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
