I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
