my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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