I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize