I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
