I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
