If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
