whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
