Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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