I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
