Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
birth control should be required to get into college
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
