so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
