he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
