woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
