is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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