Your tits are I can't wait for
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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