How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
