I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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