one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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