I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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