Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
