You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
