Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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