i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
