Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
