so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
