I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
