I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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