1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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