Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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