you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Vodka?
Forever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
