Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize