If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
