quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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