Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
